Betty ford says i'm here all night
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
