New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
