I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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