I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize