I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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