i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
All I want is dick and wine.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
