Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
