I am puke
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
