if i can run in heels then i can drive
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
