i just had sex bonerless
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
