It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
