i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
