she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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