my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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