I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
