your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize