I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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