so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
