didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
