Non-Jews are for practice
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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