Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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