THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
