i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
