i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
