Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
