I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
