On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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