hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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