Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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