and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
