At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
