Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
