I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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