So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
