There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
