dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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