he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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