is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You are a genius and a whore.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
