is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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