You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Damn victory sex feels great
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
