he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
