he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
