I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
