I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
where does the pee come out of this thing
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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