Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.

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(208): View more from Idaho

THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT

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(317): View more from Indiana

Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true

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(318): View more from Louisiana

i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.

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(510): View more from California

Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.

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(850): View more from Florida

She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.

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(503): View more from Oregon

But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"

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(409): View more from Texas

getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'

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