Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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