I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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