There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
