What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
