garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I came so hard my ears popped.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
