You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
