saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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