You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
We named our party play list daddy issues
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
