he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
