"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
