what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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