You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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