You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
