I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
