I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
