I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
my liver is dry heaving
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
