i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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