i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
