my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
